A few months ago, I was going through a not-so-great time in my life. In short, I was in a rut caused by a lot of different circumstances in my life. But I’m not here to recount that. I am here to share what I learned throughout this time and how I got out of it.
Here’s the thing about life, sometimes it takes us a few tries to learn something. In my case, it took a few years to learn how to get out of a rut.
For so long, I set aside the importance of connection because I didn’t want to deal with it. In a way, I thought I wasn’t hardwired for connection. I am an introvert, I enjoy spending time alone, and I shouldn’t need connection in my life. Entirely dismissing the fact that I am, indeed, a human being, and humans need connection.
During this period, I was scrolling the internet endlessly, convincing myself that I was okay being alone because once again, as an introvert, I am meant to be alone. But being okay alone is not the same thing as being lonely. I am great on my own, but the loneliness of my life was starting to take a toll. And it wasn’t because I had no one around me, I just didn’t want to let them in. I didn’t want them to see this broken side of me, so I distanced myself from everyone in my life. Except, I didn’t realize I was doing it. I had alienated all my friends and loved ones and didn’t even notice.
But there came a point where I just couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t handle how I was feeling, or how I was taking care of myself. This is by no means medical advice, but it’s just what I did to get out of this rut.
To get out of this rut, I did three things. First, I started writing all of my thoughts out on paper. Every single last one was put on paper and finally started freeing up some brain space. Once I started giving my brain some room to think, I started to realize how untrue and toxic my thoughts had become.
Next, I started moving my body. Now don’t think I went to the gym; I started by just taking 30-minute walks around my neighbourhood and sometimes cried on those walks. But breathing fresh air did wonders for me. It also allowed me to slowly re-establish a morning routine again, which added some structure to my day which I was lacking.
And the last thing I did, I opened up to my friends and family. I didn’t do anything crazy, but I just let myself be vulnerable around them. I let them in. And trust me, it was complicated, messy and I can’t say I opened up completely. But even just a little bit helps.
That led to connecting with them. It helped them understand what I was going through and gave me a second to just breathe and lean on those I trusted, even if just for a few moments.
The answer to loneliness, despair, hurt, shame or anything along those lines is connection. You have to let yourself connect with people that make you feel good about yourself. You have to put yourself out there and allow people to take care of you. That was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. And again, it wasn’t overnight, or easy by any means, but even the few moments I did helped me so much.
These are just a few things I did to get out of my rut, and I hope it helps anyone who needs it. Move your body, get those thoughts out of your head and know it’s okay to lean and connect with those you trust and love.
Thank you for reading this blog post, it has been a hot minute since I’ve written anything, but I missed blogging so much so here I am. I can’t say you should expect many blog posts from me, but I have challenged myself to write two a month and that’s all I can handle at the moment.
If you want more content from me, you can check out my Esty shop where I sell digital planners.