Life is About Creating Yourself

Life is about finding yourself – is it, though?

For years I was caught up in this idea that I had to find myself. I was obsessed with trying to get back to this younger version of myself where I felt had peaked. I spent nights crying myself to sleep because I could not find myself. I spent days aimlessly wandering around trying to find this idealized idea and somehow make it fit into my life. But as we can all guess, that never actually happened. I never “found” myself the way everyone claimed I would. All this made me do was hold onto a past version of myself that no longer aligned with who I was or who I was becoming.

I held onto this idea because that’s all I ever knew. From Pinterest to Instagram to general conversations with friends, we were all led to believe that life was about finding yourself. We thought that one day we would stumble across this version of ourselves we once loved and immediately return to being that person. As I got older, I started to realize that all I was doing was holding myself back from enjoying the present and looking forward to the future – I had planted myself in the past and slowly but surely, I realized that it was not doing anything good for me.

Here’s the thing, life is not about finding yourself. When we ask people to find themselves, what exactly are they looking for? A version of themselves they used to be. It seems odd that the idea of finding ourselves suggest that we can g back to our past selves and embody them when undoubtedly, so much has changed.

So, I propose we change how we understand our life and who we are. Instead of aiming to find yourself, what if we made life about creating ourselves? What if we focused our energy on learning from the past and moving forward? What if we built who we wanted to be every single day?

Life is not about finding yourself. That idea implies that there was a better version of you that existed once upon a time and makes you forget that the best is yet to come. The best is yet to come if you create and build it.

Creating yourself leaves you with endless options of what you can create and who you can become, and those endless possibilities are one of the most beautiful gifts that life has to offer. Focus your energy on creating who you want to become and know that who you are right now is more than enough. Your past does not define you.

Personally, when I started shifting away from the idea of finding myself, I almost felt relieved. I felt like I had gained back some agency in my life like I was finally the one steering the ship. Creating yourself is about doing whatever the heck you want. It is about creating who you want to become and loving yourself in the process. Finding yourself might be great in some circumstances, but you have the option and agency to create who you want to be and the life you want to live.

Show Up For Yourself

Last week, I was on a blissful high – I was happy, motivated, energized and springing out of bed in the morning. This week however, I can barely get myself to crawl out of bed in the morning. I feel unmotivated, tired, sad, and spaced out. What changed between last week and this week? I spent a few hours this morning racking my brain trying to understand what had changed. Then it dawned on me, I wasn’t showing up for myself.

I wasn’t doing the things I know I need to do to be the best and happiest version of myself.

I wasn’t moving my body, even though I knew it benefitted my mental and physical health in a lot of ways.

I wasn’t creating a balance in my schedule between work things and things that brought me joy.

I wasn’t eating food that fueled my body.

In short, I wasn’t showing up for myself like I had the week before. I knew very well how I would feel if I decided to do what was good for me, but I still didn’t do it. Why? Because I decided that not doing those things was the easier option. Maybe it was in the short-term, but in the long-term it just made me feel worse.

 Showing up for yourself is a decision you have to make every single morning. You have to decide to take care of yourself, to do what you love when you can, to eat whatever makes you feel best. You have to choose to be the best version of yourself – it doesn’t just happen to you.

When you want something, you have to actively go after it. You need to get the ball rolling if you will, or else nothing will happen. If you want to be happier, live a more authentic life or just be more present in the one you have, then you need practice every single day. You have to make choices that will lead you to that lifestyle that you want.

I challenge you to try and show up for yourself, because when you do, I can guarantee you that you will feel a whole lot better.

Start by analyzing the habits and routines that make you feel best and choose to stick to them.  A big part of this is you choosing to prioritize what makes you happy over everything else. Obviously, this is not always possible, but you have to choose to find even 5 minutes in your week to show up for yourself.