The Uncertainty Of New

Do you remember that last time you tried something new? Do you remember how nervous but excited you felt? Maybe even a little reserved or apprehensive? Because I do. I am currently swimming in that feeling right now. It’s a strange feeling because it’s probably not that what you are doing for the first time is bad it’s just different and you know it might change things. Whether that be starting a new job, entering a new relationship, trying a new activity or hobby, doing something brand new for the first time brings up a lot of emotions.

Today, I want to focus on helping you get through that period of uncertainty that will undoubtedly come with the territory of doing something new.

First, when trying something, new it is crucial to reframe your mindset. When we approach something new, we often put on this guard and start thinking about how bad it might go. I am the first person who will jump to the worse conclusions and make up scenarios in my head of all the ways I will fail if I do or try something new. But one of the ways that I turn that mindset around is by reframing whatever I am about to do.

 Instead of seeing it as doing something scary or different, I remind myself that it is an opportunity to learn and do something that I have never done before. It is a chance to add something new to my repertoire, a chance to connect with people I have never met, a chance to see just what I can do. Think of something new as an opportunity for change, but see it as inviting positive change into your life and not the negative aspects you have overthought in your head that will probably not happen.

Second, embrace the uncertainty. Before we start something new, there is a small period of hesitancy that naturally comes with trying something new. It is normal, and you need to understand that. You need to accept that you might not know what’s to come, and that is okay. No one expects you to know how to do everything right from the start. We are not born knowing everything and nor are expected to know how to navigate new opportunities in our lives. It is okay not to know what will happen.

By accepting that you don’t know what’s come, you are allowing yourself the chance to take a breath and start something new in a way that is open and shows you are willing to open. When we don’t know anything, the best way to change that is to approach it with a willingness to learn. We can only do that once we accept that the circumstances surrounding the situation might be uncertain, but you are willing to learn.

Third, just dive right in. Starting something new often feels like standing on the tip of the diving board in a pool. It’s scary, but once we just take a deep breath and jump in, it turns out that it isn’t so bad after all. Take a deep breath, have some faith in yourself, and just dive right into it.

Listening To Your Heart

I recently finished reading Stepsister by Jennifer Donnelly and I wish this book was being turned into a movie. It made me reflect so much and the book has such a good message that I think everyone needs to hear.

Still tied to the classic tale of Cinderella, Stepsister explores the story of Cinderella’s stepsisters, Isabelle and Octavia after Cinderella got married to the prince. Not only does the book give us insight into what happens after the fairy tale ends but in true classic redemption style it explores what happens to characters that are categorized as “bad” or the “villains” of a story. But as we all know, villains are not born as villains, they become villains. Isabelle, one of the villains in Cinderella, discovers that the person she has become stems from the category she has been placed in by society.

How do we allow someone else to dictate who we can or will become? Why do we let people determine who we will be? Why do we listen to them?

The thing about society is that the constraints it imposes on people are so ingrained in everything we do and engage with that if we break from those constraints we are shunned and cast aside by society. How do we unlearn something so ingrained in us? We begin by listening to the parts of the heart that we have quieted so much. Often what we want most and who we truly are, are buried deep down in the depths of our hearts because it was a way to protect ourselves.

This is not a way to live a life, and it surely was not what Isabelle or Octavia wanted anymore. Isabelle had a magical fairy queen appear to her with a place to start, but unfortunately, that isn’t something we all have access to. 

Please allow me and this post to be the magical fairy queen that you need. Take a moment to just be and listen to yourself. Allow yourself to feel what you are feeling and open yourself up to what you want most in your life. You might find this hard because we have suppressed it so much. But take a moment or even a few days to reflect on what you have been pushing down because it did not conform with what people expect from you. Or, it might come to your mind right away no matter how hard you have tried to push it away.

When those feelings, dreams and goals come to your mind I want you to take a moment and envision who the person with those goals and dreams is. That is who you truly are and who you want to become.

Now from here, I can only tell you to be vulnerable and brave enough to follow that version of yourself and those goals. You need to face why you are the way you are now, and you have to realize that who you are from now on is entirely up to you. It’s time to deal with the things that have broken and shattered your heart and the walls you have put up to protect yourself. Because they haven’t protected you, they have hindered you from succeeding.

Those broken pieces can be fixed and all of the mess that you will go through is beautiful and so true to you.

I challenge you to start listening to your heart and work on reworking your life. You are under no obligation to stay in the mold of society and you do not need to abide by societal norms of what is expected from you.

As always, this is easier said than done. But I do recommend reading the book for a bit of inspiration, and motivation to become who you are and to listen to your heart.

I leave you with one last, abbreviated, quote from the book: “There is magic in this sad, hard world. A Magic stronger than fate, stronger than chance. [..] It is magic of a frail and fallible creature, one capable of both unspeakable cruelty and immense kindness. It lives inside every human being ready to redeem us. To transform us. To save us. If we can only find the courage to listen to it. It is the magic of the human heart.”

Thanks for reading. Stay safe! x