Take Care of Yourself

There will reach a point where everything will far apart.

You will probably be neglecting your family and friends, your mental and physical health, essentially your sanity. The universe has probably been warning you that you are headed down this path not-so-great, yet you have been dodging the signs left, right and center.

It’s only when we are physically not in shape, that we can see what is going wrong with our lives. As a student in university, this time of year is crunch time. So, when I became sick a few days ago, I wanted to cry, because I knew that I needed to be on top of my game, and give a 100% to everything, but I couldn’t anymore, physically or mentally.  My body was weak, my head kept pounding, and my nose was a water fountain, and to top it all off I lost my voice.

It was at this point that I realized just how stressed out I was and had been for the past few weeks. I noticed how I had not stopped, either between work, school, and homework, since the end of summer. There wasn’t a day without a long to-do list, or somewhere to be, or homework to do. For those few weeks, all I did was go through the motions and just kept pushing myself, which apparently took a toll.

So yesterday after much negotiation with myself, I did absolutely nothing. I sat in bed or on my couch all day and watched movies. I forgot how good it felt to do nothing, and just shut off my brain.

We are constantly on the go, and when we are not, we find ways to fill up our time. But that takes on you, mentally and physically. If I did not get sick this week, then I know that I would’ve gotten sicker later, and it would have been worse.

Getting sick even though it isn’t the greatest, was a wake-up call to how I’ve been taking care of myself. And how if I don’t slow down or stop every once in awhile, there won’t be much of me left.

So please, take a break. I know its hard to find the time, but eventually, your body will force you to. Don’t exhaust your body or your brain, take care of them. Take care of yourself.

Have a wonderful day!

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Reality Check

Life will slap you in the face, and you will never see it coming.

I’ve had numerous slaps in the face (basically, reality checks), whether it be from school, family, friends, money or even work. I thought that these reality checks were finally done and that it happened once and that was it. Except, it had to continue because we take forever to realize what is right in front of us.

Its been years, and I didn’t realize that certain people were not good friends for me, and do not need to be in my life. Yet time and time again, I forgot that these people were not good for me. Reality did what it does best, and made sure that I remembered how these people were, or else I would’ve steered myself in a horrible direction.
Reality once again hit when it came to my family, and how I didn’t spend enough time with them. I was letting life go by, and not seeing my family, and when they expressed how upset they were, I didn’t understand why. It’s only when I was forced to look at the situation from their perspective that I realized that I needed my family because they are my support group and that they needed me since I am part of their support group. But I needed a slap in the face from life to remember that.

These are only a few examples, but if you pay attention life is constantly sending you these warning signs. It’s a blaring loud noise, yet we claim not to hear it because we never pay attention. These reality checks make us realize how inattentive we are to our surroundings, those around us and the world. These reality checks are meant to have us take a step back and realize that the rest of the world is moving and going on and that we need to be part of that.

If everything in your life has been going wrong or flying by too fast, or you believe everything is perfect, take a step back. You need to wake up and realize that there’s something wrong if everything is crumbling around you. Or if you don’t notice where the time is going, and that you think everything is perfect when really you fail to see the areas of your life that desperately needs improvement. Remember that this isn’t a bad thing, it’s a way to make your life truly better, and not just a cover up your life with the idea that everything is okay.

Life has been sending you all these warnings, and if you haven’t noticed them, then take this blog post as your need for a reality check.

I hope this helps one of you!

Have a wonderful day, and thanks for reading!

The Flip of a Switch

We all need those moments to escape from our lives, or even from ourselves… today I needed that badly. Over the last few weeks, I have been anything but myself. I have been lazy, unmotivated, and not bothering with anything. That’s not who I am, or who I want to become; I am usually motivated, driven, and want to do everything and anything. Maybe you are feeling this way also like you are just not yourself lately, it’s weird and different because on the outside you are the same as always. But on the inside, where only you know what’s going on, it seems like an upside mess.

That’s how I have been feeling lately, which is very unusual and probably unlike you too. We both have 2 options, or 2 paths to take let’s say. We can continue experiencing this horrible and weird feeling, or we can sit down and have a talk with ourselves. Many people don’t like being alone with their thoughts, and I understand because sometimes they don’t take the best shape or form, but when we’ve hit this point where our whole lives are being affected, we need too.

I need you to sit down and just be with yourself. Try to pinpoint what situations or events led you to this state of not being you. Recall how or who you were before this weird phase, and think if you want to go back to the person you were, or if you want to start fresh, both are an equally good option. These thoughts that come from sitting down with yourself don’t happen in one minute or even one day. Rather, it’s an accumulation of all the little moments of reflection you have had. Whether it’s that small journal entry where you noticed something was off about you. Or during that walk or metro ride home, where you were just by yourself and listening to music. Or those random moments during the day where you space out and think “What is going on with me?”

Those little moments over time, come together and will lead you to feel this shift. It’s not dramatic or filled with just the right background music and beautiful scenery like in a movie, but it’s like a flip of a switch. Its quiet, fast and you don’t even notice it. You go back to your old self without even really noticing it, and trust me you will be so happy and relieved.

Somehow over time that drive will return, you’ll want to do things, and go places, and get shit done. However, all of that takes time, and you absolutely need to work at it. Yes, it will be hard, uncomfortable, and weird, but when that flip of a switch happens you’ll be glad you went through all that.

Remember, this weird phase you are in is not who you are, its how you get out of it and return or create your true self, that makes you who you are.

Thanks for reading! Have a lovely day!

Things Take Time

Whenever I start getting impatient with the universe, I sit down and remind myself that everything takes time. Now I can stress and freak-out during that time of waiting, or I can be calm and trust in the fact that whatever is going to happen will put me on the path that I need to be.

I am going, to be honest, I am constantly waiting for “the one”, or really anyone to cross my path so we can instantly connect and fall in love. Obviously, it’s much more complicated than that, but the basics are what I’ve always wanted. And that hasn’t happened to me, and for the longest of time I put myself down about it. I thought that my hair was too curly, or not curly enough. Or that I was too loud, or too talkative, or not talkative enough. I thought I was ugly and scary, or too bitchy. Essentially, I thought a lot of bad things about myself because no boy had ever paid attention to me in that way. But when they started too, those excuses had evaporated, and I realized that they had absolutely no foundation to base themselves on and that I was perfect just the way I am. Just to clarify, I didn’t need a boy to tell me that, what I needed was a wakeup call to realize that I shouldn’t need someone else to tell me my self-worth.

Okay then after those excuses were crushed, why did I still feel this sense of hopelessness? I then started seeing someone, and it didn’t work out. We were both interested in each other, and we both felt comfortable around each other, so why didn’t it go further?

I don’t have an exact explanation for this, but what I’ve come to understand now that I’ve been removed from the situation, is that we would not have lasted, or even remotely worked out in the long run. We were at different speeds, and at different points in our lives. But then that led me to think, well then why the hell did I waste my time? And I can only guess that the universe was trying to show me what I didn’t want, and that at the time it wasn’t the best decision for me to enter a new relationship. But in the end, it was not a waste of time, because I still enjoyed being around this person.

I’m am not saying to not go after what you want; you should always go after what you want! But in moments like those, I was reminded that I didn’t want that, I just wanted the idea of being with them.

The universe will have everything figured out and act according to your decisions. I could have decided to do certain things that may have thrown me off track, and the universe would have put me right on track again. What I am trying to say is to have faith in the universe, and in yourself. Things take time, and it will work itself out the way its supposed to.

We Can’t Know What Happens Next

We want to know everything that’s going to happen to us, and we want to know it now. We want our lives to feel complete, we want to know exactly who we are, we want to know when we will meet the one, and we need to know now. We essentially want the answers to the mystery that is our lives, but doesn’t that defeat the purpose of living?

Its like when you want to read a book, but someone tells you the entire plot and the ending, why would you want to read the book anymore? Same goes for our lives, if we were born with the plot and ending of our story, what would the point of living be? We would essentially live a life where we know exactly what’s going to happen, which does seem slightly calming and rather appealing, I agree.

But I want you to imagine not having that gasp-worthy moment of someone sweeping you off your feet, or that surprise birthday someone you loved spent weeks planning for you; Or those moments when you accomplish something, and you feel on top of the world. Imagine not having those moments…

Some will argue that at least you would know the bad that is to come. And to that I say, why on earth would you want to sit around with the thoughts of all the bad things that are bad to happen to you?It’ss like if you were to just live in darkness for your entire existence. There would be no purpose for you; you wouldn’t have that tiny glint of hope or brightness to get you through those bad times, therefore you wouldn’t get through them, and you wouldn’t live. At that point you would barely be existing, you would just be going through the motions of a preplanned life.

This might sound very blunt, but its simply to prove a point. We don’t get the right to know how our life is going to pan out. Think of this as the universe trying to make sure you give it your all, you chase after you dreams, and you live as if you did not know what’s going to happen next.

And personally, I think that’s the only way you can truly live: to live as if you do not know what lies ahead.

Knowing what’s going to happen to you, doesn’t bring that sense of calm we all want. We will never have that sense of calmness, because life is not meant to be simply calm. Life is meant to be the rockiest hills you can imagine, with so many twists and turns, beautiful valleys, and unfortunate events lurking near by. But somehow together, all that jumbled mess, can create one beautiful and amazing life that’s worth living for.

 

Thanks for reading, and have a wonderful day!

Restart

We are all going to have those days where we don’t feel like ourselves, we feel gross and unmotivated and could care less about anyone or anything. We need a break from ourselves, and our thoughts, and all that is around us. That’s how I have been feeling for the past week, which is why I haven’t uploaded in a while.

I was feeling unmotivated, sad, lonely, and just out of it honestly. But here’s the thing, no one could tell that I was feeling different, and wasn’t myself… it was more of a mental thing than anything else. I was stuck in this rut of a mindset where if I didn’t do this, I could kiss my entire life behind. I was thinking a lot of negative thoughts, a lot of self-doubts and putting myself down… Mentally it was a tough week, and ultimately a rather draining week.

Yesterday, however, I hit the bottom of this weird phase, I completely gave up. I had an exam today and did not even care that I was unprepared. For me, that’s when I know something is wrong, and that’s when my family started catching on also. I am the type of person that needs to do whatever they possibly can before an exam, to feel prepared for when the time comes to write the exam. But this time, I could not bring myself to study, to care, or to bother. And maybe that was not the greatest decision school wise, but for my well being it was the best thing I could’ve done. I stopped my homework, I went to put on my pajamas and lied in bed, in the complete darkness. It was only 9pm, but I didn’t care, I couldn’t handle anything anymore including myself, so I thought I’ll just sleep it off. And before I fell asleep I remember telling myself: Everything will be okay, this weird feeling will end, you’ll do fine on your exam tomorrow, work on Friday will be fine, your future will be fine, everything will be okay.

I went to bed with that in mind, and when I woke up this morning, I felt less weird. The feeling hasn’t entirely disappeared, but its subdued a lot.

Often, especially when we feel overwhelmed, we don’t know what to do. What I needed to do was reset my mindset. I was in a negative funk, where I thought my life would fall apart or collapse if I did one little thing wrong or out of line. But really that doesn’t happen because what you did yesterday, does not have to affect what you did today. I was a horrible mood yesterday, but I did not let that affect how I am today.

With a clearer mind, I now notice how much of a mess my life was, and how much of a mess I felt like. I don’t like messes (except my closet, it’s just a scary place really), and I especially hate feeling like a mess. Once I realized that, I made a note in my agenda to clean my room and my desk on Saturday morning; I planned out a mini-pampering session on Sunday; I called my friend and made plans with her because I hadn’t seen her in ages and she is the one that you usually bring me back to focus, and I planned. I planned, and planned, and planned as if my life depended on it. I planned what school work to do, my budget for the week, when I work or when I don’t work when things were due if I had any events coming up.

When you feel like a mess, you probably won’t notice that you are one until you yourself have a moment where everything hits the fan. Now being a mess should never be a bad thing, but rather it should be a point where something is not working right, and you need to re-evaluate what’s going on in your life and adjust accordingly.

I recommend, that if you’re not feeling yourself, to go to bed with this intention that tomorrow will be better, and that everything will be okay. Because that little bit of hope that all will work out makes everything better.

I know this was more of a rant than anything else, but I know a lot of people go through these weird phases, and it’s nice to know you are not alone. Don’t worry these phases happen to everyone all the time. You just need to make sure you do whatever works for you, to get back on track of things.

 

Thanks for reading, and have a wonderful day!

Being Single

*Disclaimer: There is absolutely nothing wrong with being single, you live your life the exact way you want to live it and feel exactly what you want to feel*

Out of a group of friends of mine, I am the only one to have never been in a long-term or serious relationship. I know they won’t question more into it because they know that I am a rather private person. But I know they wonder, how can you be a 19-year-old and not have been in a relationship yet? Most people would jump to the conclusion that its because I have insecurities, and I do, but that’s not the main reason. Some might just understand that I haven’t met someone who would be worth my time, which is true, but not the full reason.

You see after being single for so long and witnessing relationships around you and the downsides of them, relationships just seem to be… well downright terrifying. At which point I should probably explain why. Over time, I have learned how to become independent and be there when people need me to be. Because let’s face it, when a friend or someone close to you is in a relationship their priorities will change, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, it’s a normal part of life. But when you’re the only one not on that bandwagon, you sort of have to learn how to depend on yourself at times. This is not to say that the people around me completely abandoned me or anything, but more that I knew what was to come and I wanted to make sure I would be okay.

So, throughout the years I learnt how be there for myself, when others had other priorities to attend to. And again, this isn’t some oh please pity me situation, because I never saw it as a bad thing. I became very private and kept many things to myself, because I thought that’s what it meant to be independent, to deal with things alone… and I know now that, that is not how you handle being independent or even how you should handle all situations. But habits are hard to break, and that habit has stuck around. So, when I did start dating someone, the thought of opening up to them, becoming vulnerable and breaking down this barrier I had spent so long reinforcing, scared me.

However, rather than do all that, I did what I did best, I ran and I dealt with it on my own. I did not want to be a burden, but nor did I want to explain to anyone that I was emotionally unavailable, but technically available in the dating world. Being single has not been a bad thing, and I honestly don’t think it is. I have had this journey of creating and finding myself, which I think everyone should experience. Which consequently led me to become very assertive of who I am and what I want, which intimidated people, and that did not help in how people perceived me, or how I perceived people perceiving me.

To sum it up, being single has advantaged me in ways some others may never get to experience, but it has also made me too independent, if that’s even a thing. And I am not saying that my way of going through life is necessarily right, or any other way is wrong. But I just wanted to show you how being single has its advantages and its disadvantages. And whether you are in a relationship or not, you are going to have to learn how to deal with the consequences that come from both situations.

Thank you and Have a Wonderful day!