Life Slaps You in the Face

Everything happens all at once. It’s been proven, you’ve all experienced this, and I am currently experiencing what I refer to as “life slapping you in the face”.  Which is when you were smooth sailing for a certain period, but now life has arrived to slap you in the face with reality. One little thing can easily set off a domino effect on all things that will turn my life upside down. I don’t know what to do about it, and usually, no one knows how to handle this properly.

Sometimes it all gets too much, one minute we feel like we can balance it all and succeed, and there are times when one little thing gets added and that perfect balance you tried so hard to work towards, has collapsed. I am someone who constantly strives for perfect balance, but its impossible. Life is too unpredictable, chaotic, messy and spontaneous for balance to even be in the situation.

I know I usually have some sort of solution for you at this point, but all I can say is that if you feel like its all too much, you are not alone. Every single person on this planet has felt it, yes, every situation and circumstances are different but we all reach our limits and go overboard. In a way this chaos we all experience shows just how alike and together we all are, no matter where we are from. Everyone has a bad period in their life when they want to just burst into tears and crawl into bed. But unfortunately, we can’t do that, you just have to keep going. Why? Because this will be over soon, and time will pass. You need to keep going and hold onto the idea that this feeling you have of drowning, being overwhelmed, anxious, stressed, sad or demotivated is not forever. It might feel like forever, but it isn’t. Trust me on this one.

If you have tips on how to cope with these types of periods in our lives, then please love a comment down below!

Thanks for reading and I hope you are having a wonderful day!

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A Much Needed dose of motivation

Do you realize how lucky you are to wake up every morning? Do you understand that you are still here for a reason? Do you know that you only have one life to live and that’s it?

You might not be at a great point in your life, and I get it if there’s one thing that unites every person on this planet it’s that life slaps us all in the face. But what differentiates you from others is how you react to this slap in the face.

If your life sucks right now, then change it! You have the power in you to change your day, week, year and even life! If you want to start something or achieve a goal now is the time. Don’t just let it sit in the back of your mind, act on it now. Life doesn’t wait for anybody, but it will help you when you have a plan of action and follow it. As they say, action breathes motivation, and the universe rewards those who act.

There will be challenges, and obstacles and a lot of self-doubts, but just remember that you were put on this planet for some reason, and only you are the only person that can fulfill it.

Your life is waiting for it to be lived. It’s not when you get to a specific point of your life, or when you have something that you can start living. That’s not living, that’s chasing the idea of living your life. News flash, you will never get to live your life if you go down that path. You think you have so many years ahead of you, but no one knows that for sure. We use it as an excuse to not face our deepest fears and our insecurities, but there will be a point when you need to face those fears head-on. These fears are holding you down, but you are meant to do so many great things. One of my favorite quotes that I go back to whenever I notice that my fears are holding me back is “Give yourself permission to live a big life. Step into who you are meant to be. Stop playing small. You’re meant for greater things.”

All of you are meant for greater things. Do you want that? You do. I know you do. You have so much to accomplish, and so many lives to change including yours. You can do it. You have the power to do whatever the hell you want to do. I have faith in you, and so does the universe.

I hope this gives you a little bit of motivation, and I truly believe that we all have the power within us to change our lives for the better.

Thanks for reading, and have a wonderful day!

Journaling

If you have never tried journaling, then you are missing out. The reason as to why people start or even continue journaling differs from person to person. I used to journal a lot when I was a kid, but it was mainly summaries of what I had done that day, which has proven to be interesting and cute to look back on now. But when I really started to pick up journaling, it was a more dark and sad period of my life. It was a way to take all the jumbled mess and let it explode onto paper, it was therapeutic really.

I did stop for awhile after that as things started to shift but picked it up again. It then became more about thinking through decisions or trying to understand how I felt the way I was feeling about certain situations. I had progressed and grew up and my journal entries were reflecting that.

Journaling is what you want it to be. Some people write endless pages, others make lists of what they’re grateful for, some use it for manifestation. There are an endless amount of things that you could do with journaling.

That’s all nice an easy, but how do you make it a habit? How do you enjoy journaling? As for many things, this is when you need to establish your “Why”. Why are you journaling? It is because you need to take a load off your shoulders? Find some calm and peace? etc. The reason why I began journaling has changed, but now I find it a nice way to write out my ideas, or my thoughts on life. I’m also a person who loves working on bettering myself and seeing how much I have changed over time, so I use past entries to see just how far I’ve come. And to continue doing that in the future I need to write down what’s happening in my life now.

Grab yourself a new notebook, or one you already have and make it a point to just write one page (or more if you wish) and start with something easy. Write about how you are feeling right then and there, or something that happened today good or bad. Write something down, don’t think about it at all. Journaling comes from within, so just write from your heart and soul. Just write.

I hope you really do start getting into journaling, it has become something I look forward to doing every night before bed. Try it out!

Thanks for reading and have a wonderful day!

Re-Evaluating Your Goals

We have finally reached the end of January! I will say, this month did feel a little long and dragged on for a quite awhile, but still, it was a great month. Today I thought to wrap up the whole new year inspired blog posts, that it would be nice to end with a chance to re-evaluate your goals.

Pull out the goals you made at the beginning of the month and really analyze them.

  • Are these the goals you want to pursue for the rest of the year?
  • Is there any new goals to add, or any you want to take out?
  • How are you going to continue working towards your goals in the coming months?

Most of the time we forget that we even made a list of goals. This is your chance to go back to them and see if this is what you truly want.

Do not be afraid, or ashamed if you want to take out a goal, or change them up a bit, or even add new ones! Life has passed by this month and I am sure a lot has changed; your goals need to keep up to date with you and your changing mind. This isn’t the time for self-doubt to creep in and make you get rid of all your goals. This is simply a time to see if you’re in the right the direction, or if you are going the complete opposite direction.

I had to go over my goals recently and realized that they were not entirely what I wanted. Actually, they seem like the type of goals that are not substantive and that you made at the beginning of the year for the sake of it. There are of course some that I really do want to pursue, but there were even some I had made very short term, like my blog. One of my goals was to get my blog back on track, and now it is. But what next? I can’t just stop there, I did not think far enough into what I wanted to happen to my blog. By looking back at my list of goals I was able to adjust things, and maybe see that what I thought I wanted, I didn’t want anymore. And that’s completely okay, changing your mind happens all the time. Keeping that in mind, your goals can’t change every week (obviously, your weekly goals can), because you would have no sense of direction or focus.

When the new year rolls around it’s all about self-reflection, but truly it needs to happen all the time, and at the end of the  ‘new year, new me’ phase, we need to check and see what progress was or wasn’t made. This month I set a few monthly goals, and honestly, I did not accomplish most of them. But why didn’t I? What happened? Are they worth accomplishing in the next month? Do they matter that much to me? How can I try this again?

The end of January, as well as the beginning of January, should be about self-reflection and re-evaluate what you want. This is your life after all, and you need to be making sure it’s the life you want to live.

 

I just wanted to take a few moments to say thank you to all of you that have followed The Life We Dream Of, and who have commented and liked my posts. It truly means the world to me, and I hope you keep coming back! I really want to create a space for advice, happiness, sharing, and community, and that is already starting, thanks to all of you. Thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart, I appreciate and am grateful for you all!

Thanks for reading and have a wonderful day!

The Chaos that is My Life

I had a whole plan for what I was going to post today, but as I started writing it I just couldn’t. I am such an emotional and mental mess; my life is and will be, for the next semester, constant non-stop rollercoaster ride. Am I ready for that? Not even close.

I really don’t like diving into situations when there is no end in the near future. From today until who knows when, I have so much to do and so many commitments to follow through, that the only thing I could think of is how am I going to make it through this? But the real question I think about is, are you going to let time slip away again?

What I mean by this is that I am known for not living in the moment, it has been a horrible habit I’ve had since I was a kid. Always trying to predict and plan for what will happen, and completely missing out on what’s happening right now. So, when I go into these non-stop periods of my life, which happens often, I wonder what will I miss.

Instead of taking a moment to be present, my mind can’t help but jump forward. I truly hate that, I hate that life is throwing me opportunities all kinds and I don’t even notice them because I’m too busy focusing on this potential future that I’ll maybe one day get.

The next few days is just one of the first waves of chaos I will experience in the next semester… so if anyone has any tips on how to get through this please share them, because I am running out of ideas.

I’m sorry I really wanted to post something on goals and such, which I still will do but I didn’t have it in me. I hope that your day is going well, and remember this crazy, confusing, messy life is something we should cherish every day, even on the bad days…

Thanks for reading!

How I Plan my Semester

A new semester or term has started for a lot of students, who have still not gotten over the mental and emotional drainage that was last semester. But regardless we need to restart, push forward and do our best! So here are just a few things I do at the beginning of the semester to make sure I start off on the right foot.

The moment you receive the course syllabus, go through it thoroughly. Read it back to front and every word, as many professors will remind you this is a contract between you and professor, minus the lawyers. But still, if you have any issue throughout the semester this syllabus/contract will be referred to you. Also at the same time look at important dates that you will have assignments or essays due, and the date of your test and exams. This is going to help you know what is coming up and what you are in for.

Then look at if there are required books or textbooks for the class. Before running to your school bookstore, in which the prices of the books will surely give you a heart attack, check online. See if you can find an e-book version or a Kindle version. Sometimes even if you go to Amazon you can find it a few dollars cheaper than if you bought it from your school. Or go the classic route of buying used textbooks, trust me you save a lot of money.

And my last tip is that you can’t procrastinate at the beginning of the semester. Chances are, you will procrastinate all the reading that you should be doing. If you don’t think you don’t have any, please go back and look at that course outline. The thing about university or college is that there is always something to do, and if you are not doing something, then you are procrastinating it. But eventually, you reach a time when there is too much to do and absolutely no time. Don’t you wish you could not go through that anxiety and stress? Well then start being proactive and doing your work from the beginning. I’m not saying it will take away the stress and anxiety but I can assure you it will help.

So, to sum up, read through the syllabus, plan everything out, look for the books at a cheaper price and don’t procrastinate.
Best of luck in the new semester!

Thanks for reading and have a wonderful day!

Take Care of Yourself

There will reach a point where everything will far apart.

You will probably be neglecting your family and friends, your mental and physical health, essentially your sanity. The universe has probably been warning you that you are headed down this path not-so-great, yet you have been dodging the signs left, right and center.

It’s only when we are physically not in shape, that we can see what is going wrong with our lives. As a student in university, this time of year is crunch time. So, when I became sick a few days ago, I wanted to cry, because I knew that I needed to be on top of my game, and give a 100% to everything, but I couldn’t anymore, physically or mentally.  My body was weak, my head kept pounding, and my nose was a water fountain, and to top it all off I lost my voice.

It was at this point that I realized just how stressed out I was and had been for the past few weeks. I noticed how I had not stopped, either between work, school, and homework, since the end of summer. There wasn’t a day without a long to-do list, or somewhere to be, or homework to do. For those few weeks, all I did was go through the motions and just kept pushing myself, which apparently took a toll.

So yesterday after much negotiation with myself, I did absolutely nothing. I sat in bed or on my couch all day and watched movies. I forgot how good it felt to do nothing, and just shut off my brain.

We are constantly on the go, and when we are not, we find ways to fill up our time. But that takes on you, mentally and physically. If I did not get sick this week, then I know that I would’ve gotten sicker later, and it would have been worse.

Getting sick even though it isn’t the greatest, was a wake-up call to how I’ve been taking care of myself. And how if I don’t slow down or stop every once in awhile, there won’t be much of me left.

So please, take a break. I know its hard to find the time, but eventually, your body will force you to. Don’t exhaust your body or your brain, take care of them. Take care of yourself.

Have a wonderful day!

The Flip of a Switch

We all need those moments to escape from our lives, or even from ourselves… today I needed that badly. Over the last few weeks, I have been anything but myself. I have been lazy, unmotivated, and not bothering with anything. That’s not who I am, or who I want to become; I am usually motivated, driven, and want to do everything and anything. Maybe you are feeling this way also like you are just not yourself lately, it’s weird and different because on the outside you are the same as always. But on the inside, where only you know what’s going on, it seems like an upside mess.

That’s how I have been feeling lately, which is very unusual and probably unlike you too. We both have 2 options, or 2 paths to take let’s say. We can continue experiencing this horrible and weird feeling, or we can sit down and have a talk with ourselves. Many people don’t like being alone with their thoughts, and I understand because sometimes they don’t take the best shape or form, but when we’ve hit this point where our whole lives are being affected, we need too.

I need you to sit down and just be with yourself. Try to pinpoint what situations or events led you to this state of not being you. Recall how or who you were before this weird phase, and think if you want to go back to the person you were, or if you want to start fresh, both are an equally good option. These thoughts that come from sitting down with yourself don’t happen in one minute or even one day. Rather, it’s an accumulation of all the little moments of reflection you have had. Whether it’s that small journal entry where you noticed something was off about you. Or during that walk or metro ride home, where you were just by yourself and listening to music. Or those random moments during the day where you space out and think “What is going on with me?”

Those little moments over time, come together and will lead you to feel this shift. It’s not dramatic or filled with just the right background music and beautiful scenery like in a movie, but it’s like a flip of a switch. Its quiet, fast and you don’t even notice it. You go back to your old self without even really noticing it, and trust me you will be so happy and relieved.

Somehow over time that drive will return, you’ll want to do things, and go places, and get shit done. However, all of that takes time, and you absolutely need to work at it. Yes, it will be hard, uncomfortable, and weird, but when that flip of a switch happens you’ll be glad you went through all that.

Remember, this weird phase you are in is not who you are, its how you get out of it and return or create your true self, that makes you who you are.

Thanks for reading! Have a lovely day!

Things Take Time

Whenever I start getting impatient with the universe, I sit down and remind myself that everything takes time. Now I can stress and freak-out during that time of waiting, or I can be calm and trust in the fact that whatever is going to happen will put me on the path that I need to be.

I am going, to be honest, I am constantly waiting for “the one”, or really anyone to cross my path so we can instantly connect and fall in love. Obviously, it’s much more complicated than that, but the basics are what I’ve always wanted. And that hasn’t happened to me, and for the longest of time I put myself down about it. I thought that my hair was too curly, or not curly enough. Or that I was too loud, or too talkative, or not talkative enough. I thought I was ugly and scary, or too bitchy. Essentially, I thought a lot of bad things about myself because no boy had ever paid attention to me in that way. But when they started too, those excuses had evaporated, and I realized that they had absolutely no foundation to base themselves on and that I was perfect just the way I am. Just to clarify, I didn’t need a boy to tell me that, what I needed was a wakeup call to realize that I shouldn’t need someone else to tell me my self-worth.

Okay then after those excuses were crushed, why did I still feel this sense of hopelessness? I then started seeing someone, and it didn’t work out. We were both interested in each other, and we both felt comfortable around each other, so why didn’t it go further?

I don’t have an exact explanation for this, but what I’ve come to understand now that I’ve been removed from the situation, is that we would not have lasted, or even remotely worked out in the long run. We were at different speeds, and at different points in our lives. But then that led me to think, well then why the hell did I waste my time? And I can only guess that the universe was trying to show me what I didn’t want, and that at the time it wasn’t the best decision for me to enter a new relationship. But in the end, it was not a waste of time, because I still enjoyed being around this person.

I’m am not saying to not go after what you want; you should always go after what you want! But in moments like those, I was reminded that I didn’t want that, I just wanted the idea of being with them.

The universe will have everything figured out and act according to your decisions. I could have decided to do certain things that may have thrown me off track, and the universe would have put me right on track again. What I am trying to say is to have faith in the universe, and in yourself. Things take time, and it will work itself out the way its supposed to.

We Can’t Know What Happens Next

We want to know everything that’s going to happen to us, and we want to know it now. We want our lives to feel complete, we want to know exactly who we are, we want to know when we will meet the one, and we need to know now. We essentially want the answers to the mystery that is our lives, but doesn’t that defeat the purpose of living?

Its like when you want to read a book, but someone tells you the entire plot and the ending, why would you want to read the book anymore? Same goes for our lives, if we were born with the plot and ending of our story, what would the point of living be? We would essentially live a life where we know exactly what’s going to happen, which does seem slightly calming and rather appealing, I agree.

But I want you to imagine not having that gasp-worthy moment of someone sweeping you off your feet, or that surprise birthday someone you loved spent weeks planning for you; Or those moments when you accomplish something, and you feel on top of the world. Imagine not having those moments…

Some will argue that at least you would know the bad that is to come. And to that I say, why on earth would you want to sit around with the thoughts of all the bad things that are bad to happen to you?It’ss like if you were to just live in darkness for your entire existence. There would be no purpose for you; you wouldn’t have that tiny glint of hope or brightness to get you through those bad times, therefore you wouldn’t get through them, and you wouldn’t live. At that point you would barely be existing, you would just be going through the motions of a preplanned life.

This might sound very blunt, but its simply to prove a point. We don’t get the right to know how our life is going to pan out. Think of this as the universe trying to make sure you give it your all, you chase after you dreams, and you live as if you did not know what’s going to happen next.

And personally, I think that’s the only way you can truly live: to live as if you do not know what lies ahead.

Knowing what’s going to happen to you, doesn’t bring that sense of calm we all want. We will never have that sense of calmness, because life is not meant to be simply calm. Life is meant to be the rockiest hills you can imagine, with so many twists and turns, beautiful valleys, and unfortunate events lurking near by. But somehow together, all that jumbled mess, can create one beautiful and amazing life that’s worth living for.

 

Thanks for reading, and have a wonderful day!

Restart

We are all going to have those days where we don’t feel like ourselves, we feel gross and unmotivated and could care less about anyone or anything. We need a break from ourselves, and our thoughts, and all that is around us. That’s how I have been feeling for the past week, which is why I haven’t uploaded in a while.

I was feeling unmotivated, sad, lonely, and just out of it honestly. But here’s the thing, no one could tell that I was feeling different, and wasn’t myself… it was more of a mental thing than anything else. I was stuck in this rut of a mindset where if I didn’t do this, I could kiss my entire life behind. I was thinking a lot of negative thoughts, a lot of self-doubts and putting myself down… Mentally it was a tough week, and ultimately a rather draining week.

Yesterday, however, I hit the bottom of this weird phase, I completely gave up. I had an exam today and did not even care that I was unprepared. For me, that’s when I know something is wrong, and that’s when my family started catching on also. I am the type of person that needs to do whatever they possibly can before an exam, to feel prepared for when the time comes to write the exam. But this time, I could not bring myself to study, to care, or to bother. And maybe that was not the greatest decision school wise, but for my well being it was the best thing I could’ve done. I stopped my homework, I went to put on my pajamas and lied in bed, in the complete darkness. It was only 9pm, but I didn’t care, I couldn’t handle anything anymore including myself, so I thought I’ll just sleep it off. And before I fell asleep I remember telling myself: Everything will be okay, this weird feeling will end, you’ll do fine on your exam tomorrow, work on Friday will be fine, your future will be fine, everything will be okay.

I went to bed with that in mind, and when I woke up this morning, I felt less weird. The feeling hasn’t entirely disappeared, but its subdued a lot.

Often, especially when we feel overwhelmed, we don’t know what to do. What I needed to do was reset my mindset. I was in a negative funk, where I thought my life would fall apart or collapse if I did one little thing wrong or out of line. But really that doesn’t happen because what you did yesterday, does not have to affect what you did today. I was a horrible mood yesterday, but I did not let that affect how I am today.

With a clearer mind, I now notice how much of a mess my life was, and how much of a mess I felt like. I don’t like messes (except my closet, it’s just a scary place really), and I especially hate feeling like a mess. Once I realized that, I made a note in my agenda to clean my room and my desk on Saturday morning; I planned out a mini-pampering session on Sunday; I called my friend and made plans with her because I hadn’t seen her in ages and she is the one that you usually bring me back to focus, and I planned. I planned, and planned, and planned as if my life depended on it. I planned what school work to do, my budget for the week, when I work or when I don’t work when things were due if I had any events coming up.

When you feel like a mess, you probably won’t notice that you are one until you yourself have a moment where everything hits the fan. Now being a mess should never be a bad thing, but rather it should be a point where something is not working right, and you need to re-evaluate what’s going on in your life and adjust accordingly.

I recommend, that if you’re not feeling yourself, to go to bed with this intention that tomorrow will be better, and that everything will be okay. Because that little bit of hope that all will work out makes everything better.

I know this was more of a rant than anything else, but I know a lot of people go through these weird phases, and it’s nice to know you are not alone. Don’t worry these phases happen to everyone all the time. You just need to make sure you do whatever works for you, to get back on track of things.

 

Thanks for reading, and have a wonderful day!

Being Single

*Disclaimer: There is absolutely nothing wrong with being single, you live your life the exact way you want to live it and feel exactly what you want to feel*

Out of a group of friends of mine, I am the only one to have never been in a long-term or serious relationship. I know they won’t question more into it because they know that I am a rather private person. But I know they wonder, how can you be a 19-year-old and not have been in a relationship yet? Most people would jump to the conclusion that its because I have insecurities, and I do, but that’s not the main reason. Some might just understand that I haven’t met someone who would be worth my time, which is true, but not the full reason.

You see after being single for so long and witnessing relationships around you and the downsides of them, relationships just seem to be… well downright terrifying. At which point I should probably explain why. Over time, I have learned how to become independent and be there when people need me to be. Because let’s face it, when a friend or someone close to you is in a relationship their priorities will change, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, it’s a normal part of life. But when you’re the only one not on that bandwagon, you sort of have to learn how to depend on yourself at times. This is not to say that the people around me completely abandoned me or anything, but more that I knew what was to come and I wanted to make sure I would be okay.

So, throughout the years I learnt how be there for myself, when others had other priorities to attend to. And again, this isn’t some oh please pity me situation, because I never saw it as a bad thing. I became very private and kept many things to myself, because I thought that’s what it meant to be independent, to deal with things alone… and I know now that, that is not how you handle being independent or even how you should handle all situations. But habits are hard to break, and that habit has stuck around. So, when I did start dating someone, the thought of opening up to them, becoming vulnerable and breaking down this barrier I had spent so long reinforcing, scared me.

However, rather than do all that, I did what I did best, I ran and I dealt with it on my own. I did not want to be a burden, but nor did I want to explain to anyone that I was emotionally unavailable, but technically available in the dating world. Being single has not been a bad thing, and I honestly don’t think it is. I have had this journey of creating and finding myself, which I think everyone should experience. Which consequently led me to become very assertive of who I am and what I want, which intimidated people, and that did not help in how people perceived me, or how I perceived people perceiving me.

To sum it up, being single has advantaged me in ways some others may never get to experience, but it has also made me too independent, if that’s even a thing. And I am not saying that my way of going through life is necessarily right, or any other way is wrong. But I just wanted to show you how being single has its advantages and its disadvantages. And whether you are in a relationship or not, you are going to have to learn how to deal with the consequences that come from both situations.

Thank you and Have a Wonderful day!