Reality Check

Life will slap you in the face, and you will never see it coming.

I’ve had numerous slaps in the face (basically, reality checks), whether it be from school, family, friends, money or even work. I thought that these reality checks were finally done and that it happened once and that was it. Except, it had to continue because we take forever to realize what is right in front of us.

Its been years, and I didn’t realize that certain people were not good friends for me, and do not need to be in my life. Yet time and time again, I forgot that these people were not good for me. Reality did what it does best, and made sure that I remembered how these people were, or else I would’ve steered myself in a horrible direction.
Reality once again hit when it came to my family, and how I didn’t spend enough time with them. I was letting life go by, and not seeing my family, and when they expressed how upset they were, I didn’t understand why. It’s only when I was forced to look at the situation from their perspective that I realized that I needed my family because they are my support group and that they needed me since I am part of their support group. But I needed a slap in the face from life to remember that.

These are only a few examples, but if you pay attention life is constantly sending you these warning signs. It’s a blaring loud noise, yet we claim not to hear it because we never pay attention. These reality checks make us realize how inattentive we are to our surroundings, those around us and the world. These reality checks are meant to have us take a step back and realize that the rest of the world is moving and going on and that we need to be part of that.

If everything in your life has been going wrong or flying by too fast, or you believe everything is perfect, take a step back. You need to wake up and realize that there’s something wrong if everything is crumbling around you. Or if you don’t notice where the time is going, and that you think everything is perfect when really you fail to see the areas of your life that desperately needs improvement. Remember that this isn’t a bad thing, it’s a way to make your life truly better, and not just a cover up your life with the idea that everything is okay.

Life has been sending you all these warnings, and if you haven’t noticed them, then take this blog post as your need for a reality check.

I hope this helps one of you!

Have a wonderful day, and thanks for reading!

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The Flip of a Switch

We all need those moments to escape from our lives, or even from ourselves… today I needed that badly. Over the last few weeks, I have been anything but myself. I have been lazy, unmotivated, and not bothering with anything. That’s not who I am, or who I want to become; I am usually motivated, driven, and want to do everything and anything. Maybe you are feeling this way also like you are just not yourself lately, it’s weird and different because on the outside you are the same as always. But on the inside, where only you know what’s going on, it seems like an upside mess.

That’s how I have been feeling lately, which is very unusual and probably unlike you too. We both have 2 options, or 2 paths to take let’s say. We can continue experiencing this horrible and weird feeling, or we can sit down and have a talk with ourselves. Many people don’t like being alone with their thoughts, and I understand because sometimes they don’t take the best shape or form, but when we’ve hit this point where our whole lives are being affected, we need too.

I need you to sit down and just be with yourself. Try to pinpoint what situations or events led you to this state of not being you. Recall how or who you were before this weird phase, and think if you want to go back to the person you were, or if you want to start fresh, both are an equally good option. These thoughts that come from sitting down with yourself don’t happen in one minute or even one day. Rather, it’s an accumulation of all the little moments of reflection you have had. Whether it’s that small journal entry where you noticed something was off about you. Or during that walk or metro ride home, where you were just by yourself and listening to music. Or those random moments during the day where you space out and think “What is going on with me?”

Those little moments over time, come together and will lead you to feel this shift. It’s not dramatic or filled with just the right background music and beautiful scenery like in a movie, but it’s like a flip of a switch. Its quiet, fast and you don’t even notice it. You go back to your old self without even really noticing it, and trust me you will be so happy and relieved.

Somehow over time that drive will return, you’ll want to do things, and go places, and get shit done. However, all of that takes time, and you absolutely need to work at it. Yes, it will be hard, uncomfortable, and weird, but when that flip of a switch happens you’ll be glad you went through all that.

Remember, this weird phase you are in is not who you are, its how you get out of it and return or create your true self, that makes you who you are.

Thanks for reading! Have a lovely day!

Things Take Time

Whenever I start getting impatient with the universe, I sit down and remind myself that everything takes time. Now I can stress and freak-out during that time of waiting, or I can be calm and trust in the fact that whatever is going to happen will put me on the path that I need to be.

I am going, to be honest, I am constantly waiting for “the one”, or really anyone to cross my path so we can instantly connect and fall in love. Obviously, it’s much more complicated than that, but the basics are what I’ve always wanted. And that hasn’t happened to me, and for the longest of time I put myself down about it. I thought that my hair was too curly, or not curly enough. Or that I was too loud, or too talkative, or not talkative enough. I thought I was ugly and scary, or too bitchy. Essentially, I thought a lot of bad things about myself because no boy had ever paid attention to me in that way. But when they started too, those excuses had evaporated, and I realized that they had absolutely no foundation to base themselves on and that I was perfect just the way I am. Just to clarify, I didn’t need a boy to tell me that, what I needed was a wakeup call to realize that I shouldn’t need someone else to tell me my self-worth.

Okay then after those excuses were crushed, why did I still feel this sense of hopelessness? I then started seeing someone, and it didn’t work out. We were both interested in each other, and we both felt comfortable around each other, so why didn’t it go further?

I don’t have an exact explanation for this, but what I’ve come to understand now that I’ve been removed from the situation, is that we would not have lasted, or even remotely worked out in the long run. We were at different speeds, and at different points in our lives. But then that led me to think, well then why the hell did I waste my time? And I can only guess that the universe was trying to show me what I didn’t want, and that at the time it wasn’t the best decision for me to enter a new relationship. But in the end, it was not a waste of time, because I still enjoyed being around this person.

I’m am not saying to not go after what you want; you should always go after what you want! But in moments like those, I was reminded that I didn’t want that, I just wanted the idea of being with them.

The universe will have everything figured out and act according to your decisions. I could have decided to do certain things that may have thrown me off track, and the universe would have put me right on track again. What I am trying to say is to have faith in the universe, and in yourself. Things take time, and it will work itself out the way its supposed to.

Restart

We are all going to have those days where we don’t feel like ourselves, we feel gross and unmotivated and could care less about anyone or anything. We need a break from ourselves, and our thoughts, and all that is around us. That’s how I have been feeling for the past week, which is why I haven’t uploaded in a while.

I was feeling unmotivated, sad, lonely, and just out of it honestly. But here’s the thing, no one could tell that I was feeling different, and wasn’t myself… it was more of a mental thing than anything else. I was stuck in this rut of a mindset where if I didn’t do this, I could kiss my entire life behind. I was thinking a lot of negative thoughts, a lot of self-doubts and putting myself down… Mentally it was a tough week, and ultimately a rather draining week.

Yesterday, however, I hit the bottom of this weird phase, I completely gave up. I had an exam today and did not even care that I was unprepared. For me, that’s when I know something is wrong, and that’s when my family started catching on also. I am the type of person that needs to do whatever they possibly can before an exam, to feel prepared for when the time comes to write the exam. But this time, I could not bring myself to study, to care, or to bother. And maybe that was not the greatest decision school wise, but for my well being it was the best thing I could’ve done. I stopped my homework, I went to put on my pajamas and lied in bed, in the complete darkness. It was only 9pm, but I didn’t care, I couldn’t handle anything anymore including myself, so I thought I’ll just sleep it off. And before I fell asleep I remember telling myself: Everything will be okay, this weird feeling will end, you’ll do fine on your exam tomorrow, work on Friday will be fine, your future will be fine, everything will be okay.

I went to bed with that in mind, and when I woke up this morning, I felt less weird. The feeling hasn’t entirely disappeared, but its subdued a lot.

Often, especially when we feel overwhelmed, we don’t know what to do. What I needed to do was reset my mindset. I was in a negative funk, where I thought my life would fall apart or collapse if I did one little thing wrong or out of line. But really that doesn’t happen because what you did yesterday, does not have to affect what you did today. I was a horrible mood yesterday, but I did not let that affect how I am today.

With a clearer mind, I now notice how much of a mess my life was, and how much of a mess I felt like. I don’t like messes (except my closet, it’s just a scary place really), and I especially hate feeling like a mess. Once I realized that, I made a note in my agenda to clean my room and my desk on Saturday morning; I planned out a mini-pampering session on Sunday; I called my friend and made plans with her because I hadn’t seen her in ages and she is the one that you usually bring me back to focus, and I planned. I planned, and planned, and planned as if my life depended on it. I planned what school work to do, my budget for the week, when I work or when I don’t work when things were due if I had any events coming up.

When you feel like a mess, you probably won’t notice that you are one until you yourself have a moment where everything hits the fan. Now being a mess should never be a bad thing, but rather it should be a point where something is not working right, and you need to re-evaluate what’s going on in your life and adjust accordingly.

I recommend, that if you’re not feeling yourself, to go to bed with this intention that tomorrow will be better, and that everything will be okay. Because that little bit of hope that all will work out makes everything better.

I know this was more of a rant than anything else, but I know a lot of people go through these weird phases, and it’s nice to know you are not alone. Don’t worry these phases happen to everyone all the time. You just need to make sure you do whatever works for you, to get back on track of things.

 

Thanks for reading, and have a wonderful day!

Ambition

Today, I want to get you thinking about ambition. Do you consider yourself an ambitious person? Do you surround yourself with ambitious people? I can tell you right now that I am a very ambitious person, but I do not always surround myself with the same type of people. And this is no means a bash towards those who are not as ambitious, you do you. But for me at least, those who are not as ambitious as I am do not motivate, nor inspire me to push further or to keep going when it gets rough.

Say I am in a room, and someone says let’s go for coffee. They do this every day and I know that I can’t afford to go for coffee (not only because I am a broke student, and it adds up after x amount of time a week)  because I have an assignment due the next day. In general, most people will go for the coffee, but the ones that stay behind, the very few, are the ones you want to be surrounding yourself with. They are ambitious, they have goals and they have deadlines to meet, and you can tell that they will be a good influence on you! This is once again not to hate or bash anyone that is not like that, but for me, I need those types of people around me. (Note: I am generalizing, and I am lover of all things coffee, and it is okay to go grab the coffee;

I need to be able to check myself in place and realize that the only reason I am not accomplishing what I want, or let’s say getting the marks that I want, is that I am not pushing myself. I don’t see others working 12 times as much as I am, and don’t want to even try them. I am not saying I want to compete with anyone, because most times why or what you are doing are incomparable, but because I know that if they can do it, then why can’t I? Which is why a lot of the time I feel very unmotivated at home, alone doing homework and readings in my basement. I have no one to give me a reality check and show me just how much I can push myself, and how well I can accomplish something.

That’s what I mean by are you an ambitious person? Does seeing others work hard to motivate you, or inspire you to do better than what you are doing right now? Think about it… it will increase your productivity, accomplish your tasks and goals, and overall it will make you feel better.

Thanks for reading! I hope this motivates you a little bit, and you get working on whatever needs to be done!

Have a wonderful day!

How to Balance It All

I am by no means an expert when it comes to balancing things and people in life because honestly, I rarely have days where I can successfully balance it all. So, you might be questioning, why is this random person (aka me) going to give me advice on how to balance life, if she can’t balance her own life? And to that, I say, true, very true, but I have learned a thing or two about balancing life.

You see the way to balance life, is not to balance life. Completely contradictory, and extremely confusing, I know! But hear me out. We focus all our energy on making sure that the aspects of our lives are balanced. Whether that be work, friends, family, partners, hobbies, school etc. we try so hard to make sure that we can do everything and be everywhere at once. Now through all this chaos and craziness, we tend to forget about the one doing the balancing, aka you. Balancing life is supposed to make your life easier, but really you are bending over backward to please everyone else. Balancing does not actually do anything for you as a person, rather it makes you stressed and nervous to keep up with all these people, be on top of all your work or school work.

I am not saying that those things are bad, or that you shouldn’t do them, but I think it is wrong to think that you need to do them all at once, perfectly, with a smile on your face, all the time! Because realistically speaking, we put on a poker face, or a happy face, for those around us, not for ourselves. We balance people in our lives for the happiness of those people, not for ourselves. Now, this is not me saying you should all go and be selfish human beings, and focus too much on one thing, but rather I am saying that you balance everything in your life, with the idea of how it will help you or advantage you.

I am simply trying to look out for you. We have all been in those situations where we are trying to keep everything and everyone afloat, and happy, yet we are sinking in misery and feel like the world around us is crumbling. Don’t let yourself get to that point! Try to realize that life is about balance, but it’s at your pace, at your happiness, at your time, not what everyone else needs or wants.

So how to truly balance it all? There is no one perfect path or recipe for it, but I can tell you that if you start putting yourself before others, and care about your well-being, while you are trying to balance it all, things will turn out in your favour.

I know this might have sounded entirely selfish, but sometimes in life, we need to be selfish, to preserve ourselves and who we are. I hope you realize that you don’t always have to be Wonder Woman, or do 9348 things at a time… take it at your pace, balance as much as you think is a healthy level you.

Thank you for reading, and have a wonderful day!!

18 Things I have Learned in 18 Years

It’s my birthday in a few days, which means I have been doing a lot of reflecting. Reflecting on my life in general, who I am as a person, the goals I want to accomplish, this blog… basically a lot of things. So I thought I would share 18 things I have learned in the past 18 years (let’s get real it took me forever to learn these lessons, so let’s say in the last 5 years…), here they are!

  1. You’ll break your own heart sometimes.
  2. Relationships take a lot of work.
  3. You have to earn what you want.
  4. Always set new goals.
  5. Be there, even if the other person can’t be there for you. They are also going through a rough time.
  6. It will get better, it just takes time.
  7. You will surprise yourself with how strong and capable you actually are.
  8. Life is not race.
  9. It’s okay if you are at different points of your life, compared to others your age
  10. Listen to your gut, even if it tells you something you don’t want to hear
  11. Don’t jump to conclusions about people or situations, there is more to it than meets the eye.
  12. Don’t do something just because everyone else is doing it.
  13. Wear whatever you feel confident in.
  14. Only wear makeup if you feel confident with or without it.
  15. Being organized is key.
  16. Do everything you possibly can to be prepared, but the rest after that is up to fate.
  17. Commitments are scary, but you have to stick to them.
  18. Find a balance, it will be difficult, but you just got to keep working at it.

Here’s to being 19!!

Thank you for reading, and have a wonderful day!!