What If?

I’ve been thinking lately about what could have been. What would happen if I didn’t run in the opposite direction? What if I just took that one step? What if I was bold? What would my life look like if I had done certain things?

I think we all get lost in the ‘what if?’ question from time to time and so many people will tell you to not dwell on what could have been, but it’s not that simple. Of course, we are going to wonder what would have happened if we had just done one thing differently. It’s normal to wonder and to think about how things could have gone differently.

So, for a few moments, I want to create a small space where you can freely wonder what would have happened. Not because I think it’s healthy to dwell on the things we can’t change, but so that you can learn from those what if moments.

Take a few seconds and let yourself think of that one ‘what if’ moment that is always in the back of your mind. Reflect a bit, think about it and now take a step back from it. Would you change anything about what you did? It doesn’t do anything to dwell on what others could have done differently, but instead, it’s more fruitful for you to think about what you would change. Whatever you would change about that moment, remember it and turn it into a lesson to save for your future self.

People often forget that there is a lot to learn from questioning or examining what we could have or should have done. From my personal experience, when I look back at those big ‘what if’ moments, I have noticed that they all lead back to the fact that I wasn’t bold enough. I would let fear take over and dictate my actions even if it wasn’t what I wanted. But when I return to those what if moments, I remember how I felt, and I can learn how not to do that anymore. I can understand where that fear came from and knowing that means I can try and react differently to it next time.

I am not suggesting drowning yourself in the what if moments of your life, but I think there is something to be learnt from those moments. Tossing it to the wind takes away a chance to grow and change that would be beneficial for us.

Once you understand and have learned from the ‘what if’ moments, it’s time to put it to rest. You have learned all that you could from that moment and dwelling on it won’t do much. It happened, and now you have given yourself the chance to learn from it and that is what matters the most.