Doing What You Don’t Want To Do

One of the consequences of growing up and becoming an adult is that you will need to force yourself to do a lot of things you would otherwise not want to do. Before, it was your parents’ responsibility to do a lot of that for you, or at least push you to do it. But, as we get older and more of these challenges come our way, we tend to find ways to run and hide from those responsibilities – at least, I do.

I am not one to step out of my comfort zone, and if there is something I need to do and cannot predetermine how exactly it will pan out, then I am jumping straight into overthinking mode. I will essentially create a dozen different scenarios that all end in the worst thing imaginable; I will scare myself so much all because I don’t want to take care of certain responsibilities. Does this all sound familiar or a little bit crazy?

It is a bit crazy and quite exhausting actually. The more time I spend freaking out about something, the less I want to do it, the scarier it becomes and the more I freak out. Truth be told, my brain often finds itself trapped in this vicious loop. But unfortunately, there are many times where I still have to do the thing I don’t want to or take care of a certain responsibility I would rather avoid for the rest of my life.

So, how do I do it? Here a few reminders I pull out whenever I am consumed with paralyzing anxiety over doing something I do not want to do.

1.       Ground Yourself in The Present Moment

It is so easy to get lost in our heads that we forget what is happening in the world outside of our heads. When you feel yourself getting anxious, take a few deep breaths and focus on just being in the moment. Tell your brain and those negative thoughts that you are here right now, not anywhere else. Often, we stress or get anxious about things that will happen in the future, I find that reminding myself to be in the present gives my brain a bit of breathing room and eases my anxiety a little.

2.       It Will Be Over, Eventually

The passage of time can sometimes be a blessing. Remember that what you are feeling right now, what you think will happen when you do the thing you don’t want to do, and time, in general, will pass. Even if it goes horribly, it will eventually pass, and time will keep moving. Everything eventually comes to an end.

3.       Prepare as Much as You Can

When I am about to enter a situation where I don’t know what will happen, there is only one thing I can control and sometimes figuring that out helps calm my nerves. If you are scared of not being in control of a situation (we can’t always be in control of everything), then remember what you can do. Can you do some more research to prepare? Can you plan something out that would make this easier? Is there a reward you can give yourself at the end of this task or a responsibility that will make you feel better? Trying to prepare for what is to come can help you feel more grounded, present and less insecure about yourself in the future moment you are doing the thing you don’t want to do.

There are a lot of things I hate doing, but there are just some things I cannot avoid doing – no matter how much I try. Take a deep breath, get out of your head, plan what you can and remember it will be over before you know it. Good luck!